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Grilled Cheeses For The Haunted
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Forbidden Grilled Cheese
Ingredients
2 slices of sourdough bread
1 tbsp butter for bread
½ apple, sliced
3 Rosemary Sprigs
2 Slices White Cheddar Cheese
1 Slice Havarti Cheese
Instructions
Butter each side of the bread.
Beg, beg. I keep trying to tell you how sorry I am, that I’m going to be better this time and I’m going to work hard so I can put dinner on the table for both of us to eat, stuffing apples in our bellies until we’re full of each other. Beg, beg. I keep trying to capture an illuminated picture, serene underneath the harsh lighting of my kitchen, where you’re running and I’m chasing you with the chain around my neck shredded up. I keep trying to capture that image, we’re begging to be eaten and we’re begging to eat, too hungry for our own good.
Add remaining butter to skillet on medium heat. Sprinkle rosemary into butter in skillet.
I shred my flesh as a response to my fury and repair it so I look good for tomorrow’s job interview.
Place first slice of bread in pan. Add cheddar and havarti cheese, then add apple slices. Top with second slice of bread.
Beg for hope, hope that you remain capable of begging. I keep trying to tell you how monstrous I am, how my entrails have decayed crystalline, how I externally I coat my rot with sugar and chew it until it is unrecognizable, how internally I harden what remains to preserve my humanity.
Fry sandwich until golden brown. Flip sandwich, repeat on other side until golden brown. Ensure melting of innocence cheese, and enjoy.
Blue Grilled Cheese
Ingredients:
2 slices of Brioche bread
½ cup blueberries
2 tsp sugar
2 slices brie cheese
2 slices mozzarella cheese
1 tsp honey
Mayonnaise
On medium heat, cook mashed blueberries and sugar together in pan until a slightly thickened sauce forms. MELT ME DOWN, MY ESSENCES LIQUIFIED AND DEVOURED, A SWEETLY EMBRACED POISIONING. MELT ME DOWN SO I DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE. Don’t listen to her; there’s no poison in here, she’s just dramatic, she just can’t get over it. She’s a lost cause. I KNOW THAT I AM A LOST CAUSE WHICH IS WHY I AM PRAYING FOR THE MELT, THE FINAL SICKENING BITE THAT IS NEVER KIND ENOUGH TO RIP ALL THE WAY THROUGH. NOTHING I EAT IS HEALTHY AND I’M ABOUT TO BECOME THE FABLED, THE SELF-CONSUMING SYMBOLISM. This isn’t the time. Set mixture aside.
THE UNIVERSE JUST WON’T SET ME ASIDE. I AM THE QUINTESSENCE OF THE BLUE, THE PRIZED PLUSH TOY WITH THE STUFFING CHOMPED OUT. I DON’T WANT THIS CURSE ANYMORE. I’m trying to write a recipe here. Stop being so negative. Shift your mindset. Spread mayonnaise on bread, place bread in pan. I’M AFRAID IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
It’s so simple, you just need to take a breath. Take a breath. HOW CAN I COOK FOR MYSELF WHEN ALL I AM IS A SUFFERING DOG, ONE WITH OWNERS THAT LOVE IT SO MUCH THEY CANNOT BEAR TO HELP IT DIE, TO END ITS PAIN? You’re ruining things, like you always do. Place slices of cheese on the bread, then spread honey over cheese. Top second piece of bread with mayonnaise and finish the sandwich, cooking until done. And stop complaining.
Gluten & Dairy Free Waffle Sandwich
1 ½ cup Gluten Free Pancake/Baking Mix
1/4 cup applesauce
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp oil
½-1 cup dairy free milk
½ tsp vanilla extract
2 slices cheddar cheese
Optional: nutmeg and cinnamon
Mix together dry ingredients in bowl, then add in other ingredients, mixing until there are no lumps left. Try not to think about what you lack, about how each face in the crowd mangles and twists into disgust when you enter, about how each rescue mission fails before it can find the big red-inked X on the treasure map. Just don’t think about it. Stir everything together to stifle down what stirs within you, ready to burst apart and leak infection all across your circuitry. I’m telling you that right now it doesn’t matter. Make your waffles! Get the waffle maker very hot. I was there when your therapist explained it—you’re like a waffle and each square is a different pocket of you, the syrup of memory concentrated differently in every one. I still don’t think anyone here is broken. Pour in the batter, cook until done. Split waffle, place cheese inside, warm up to melt cheese. I promise that you’re not done cooking, that you still have time left, that the world can still regurgitate you better than before.
Hot Honey Grilled Cheese
Ingredients:
2 slices wheat bread
2 slices cheddar cheese
1 slice gouda
1 tbsp hot honey
Mayonnaise
I want so much and I want and I want and I want. I want to eat and I want to be loved and I want to be eaten alive and I want to stuff my mouth. I think I’m seeing things at night, noticing things that aren’t there, brushes of struck flesh over soft flesh, the excitement in my pulse. Spread mayonnaise over bread, place bread in pan. This isn’t going to be enough for me, by the way. If you were wondering. I want so much and I want and I want and I want. I keep thinking that someone is going to come home and make food for me and hold me in their arms but I think I burn just a bit too intensely for that; my name just doesn’t feel good between the teeth. See me now as this monster made of unsent invitations, a being of unbeaten hearts belonging to unbeaten bodies. See me now as the craver, the one who always crumbles, the first to die in the story. See me as the background noise, the painted-over hole in the wall from the day I got too angry, the glaring flaw in the product we’re hoping nobody notices. See me now. Are you looking? Spread hot honey over the inside of each bread slice, place on top of cheese slices and cook until golden brown. Enjoy. Eat it up. Do me a favor and tell me I’m worth something. The desire grates against my tongue, sweet and hot.
Perpetual Grilled Cheese
Ingredients
2 slices of Brioche bread
2 tbsp butter
2 tsp Apricot jam
2 slices Brie cheese
1 holy vision cycling backwards (make sure that when you see everything that has been loved and unloved and loved again, you understand that we are all returned to the universe when our time is up to become figures of tragic serendipity) (make sure to remember that we were gifted this realm to be close to each other, to function in harmony, to help the world as it helps us, a drawn and unraveled symbiosis)
1 tbsp crumbled goat cheese
2 nonsequential epiphanies
Instructions
Spread butter on one side of each bread slice. Mourn.
Thank your ingredients. Experience your epiphany. Mourn. Cycle backwards. Experience. Mourn. Witness it. Mourn. Whisper to your jam as you rewind: “Hello ancient hominids caring for their ill. Hello mother bird feeding her young. Hello prehistoric seacreature that is so vast and wondrous and neutral...Hello dinosaur. Hello my lover’s likeness carved into stone. Hello and goodbye.” Mourn.
Spread your jam between the slices of bread. Mourn. Place bread into skillet, spread Brie onto bread and top with goat cheese crumble, mourn again, experience your second epiphany. Mourn the optimism you felt moments ago.
Recognize what has been lost and what never may be found. Remember that the universe is only gentle in its lack of attachment, that the landscape of nightmares we’ve painted with our own tools can never wash away. Cook sandwich until golden brown.
Dramatic Grilled Cheese
2 slices bread
2 slices havarti
2 slices tomato
2 slices avocado
I wanted to be this big blinding star, floating in stasis above all earthly things, but now I just want it all to be boring. I don’t want to pour myself out like that. I don’t want to spread myself, thin like butter, over my sandwiches just to be discarded when the creator isn’t looking. I think you know how to make a grilled cheese by now. I wish I could say the same; I've forgotten. I used to eat this recipe back home, back before the pain and during the pain, but its simple complexities no longer comfort me. Maybe they will comfort you?
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